On Moving to Scotland (How and Why I Moved Halfway Around the World): Part Three

When I got back to Scotland the summer after my second year, I was eager to make up for lost time. I joined new societies with abandon, signed up to serve on student committees, and invited acquaintances to meet me at the beach or go for coffee. I even let my friends convince me to make a profile on two dating apps, Bumble and Hinge.

Victoria Street in Edinburgh in 2022

Surely, this was a sign of my willingness to throw myself into the world post-Covid, to take back the two years of my university life the pandemic had taken from me. I promised to take it seriously for two weeks, while I was isolating after my flight from the United States. I wouldn’t hesitate to swipe right or message first. If it worked out, great. If not, it would at least be entertaining and I would get to meet someone new. But, I was giving it two weeks. Then I was going to delete the apps and focus on the people I knew in the real world.

Within two days I started talking to Shaun and we hit it off so well that by the time I did delete the apps, less than a month later, it was because we had already made our relationship official.

It really is funny how life happens.

When I first decided to accept my place at St Andrews, there was a small voice at the back of my mind that suggested going to university in Scotland might be a ticket to one day staying there, because I could build a community and find a job a lot easier if I was already in the country. But I never really allowed myself to think about that too seriously. It seemed impossible, or at least improbable, and I wasn’t even sure that was what I wanted. I already knew I loved living in the United Kingdom and I wouldn’t mind leaving the United States, but I wasn’t sure yet whether that was sufficient reason to become an expat.

As romantic as the thought of moving abroad is, I knew there would be challenges. I wouldn’t see my family as much. I would have to navigate adulthood in an entirely new culture, and I wasn’t sure who would guide me, since my parents had certainly never experienced coming of age in Scotland in 2020. My North American friends were already far flung over the continent by then, so it didn’t make much of a difference, but at home, at least our time zones weren’t so far apart. I knew that if I was really going to stay in the UK long-term, I needed to have sufficient reasons beyond my obvious love for the country, and at the end of my second year, I didn’t have any.

But, again, it really is funny how life happens.

In my third year at St Andrews, I was overwhelmed by reasons to stay. My relationship with Shaun became more serious, and I realised we were kidding ourselves if we ever thought it was going to be a short-term thing. From the start, we liked each other too much for that. We started making plans. He moved to St Andrews to be closer to me. We adopted a cat. At Christmas, my family flew out to visit and he met my parents. We moved in together.

And it wasn’t just Shaun. That year, some short-term university friendships faded, and I started investing in friendships with people who got me, who were uplifting and considerate and joyful. I have been blessed to have great friends all over the world, some of my closest friends from childhood, but while they are always reachable by phone, I also know exactly how important and valuable it is to have a community around you in the flesh, especially when you’re far from home. I am so grateful to have found a strong and vast community that feels like family on this tiny island, where even my furthest away friends are a train ride or brief flight away.

I also gained a lot of valuable skills in the societies I volunteered with, and I was chosen for work opportunities and internships that gave me a lot of hope of finding work in the UK. In my final year, I worked a part-time communications job remotely, and before I graduated, I was offered a full-time job at St Andrews Links Trust in marketing.

All this happened so fast after so much time at home during Covid that I wasn’t prepared to feel the way I did when I returned to Seattle for six weeks the summer before I graduated. I found that, although I will always wish my family were closer, and while I will always be grateful for my childhood in Washington state, without my friends, my routines, Shaun, and our cat Gloria, Seattle was no longer home. I blinked and most of my life was in the UK.

Besides, it's strange to realise this, but I have only really had the experience of being an adult in Great Britain. I don't know what American college life is like. I haven't house hunted in the US. I have never worked a professional job in the US, apart from nannying and short stints in seasonal jobs.

I don’t think it became real for my parents until I applied for my Graduate visa, allowing me two more years in the UK to find a sponsored job or apply for a visa through another route. There are a few ways I can continue living in the UK after that, so I’m not worried, although I never take it for granted that I get to live here. Finding out that your visa has been approved is always a surreal moment, because after many hours of filling out paperwork and triple-checking that all your funds are in order, along with many weeks waiting for a response, you finally open an email that confirms that you are allowed to continue living the dream for a while longer.

So that’s what I’m doing now. Living the dream.